Topic: Apathy  (Read 2978 times)

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Offline Star Magician

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« Reply #15 on: June 08, 2014, 06:33:25 AM »
Beer and marijuana smoke are two of the worst-smelling smells I've ever encountered. They even top feces-infused fertilizer and and skunks (but those are up there too). Just sayin'

My main problem with fancy-pants future technology is that most of society's focused advancements are cell phones and other vanity convenience objects that people froth at the mouth over these days. Or weapons. *insert I don't want to live on this planet anymore.jpg*

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Offline Ailanthus

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« Reply #16 on: June 08, 2014, 03:19:39 PM »
Holograms, Spaceships, Hovercars, Immortality, Cybernetics, and Robots. That's the future I foresee. Of course it's mostly wishful thinking, but eh... It's gonna happen sooner or later. Unless WW3 gets me killed.
I wanna see that Jaws ad from Back to the Future. I wanna replace my arm with a mechanical one. I wanna look at the Earth.  :07:
How sad it is that we give up on people who are just like us. ~ Fred Rogers

Offline Xazel

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« Reply #17 on: June 09, 2014, 03:39:54 AM »
most of society's focused advancements are cell phones and other vanity convenience objects that people froth at the mouth over these days. Or weapons.
'Never thought I'd live to see the day when someone says that. :,D *wipes tear
--or maybe people like us just experience complete disinterest excessively. Lol.

Holograms, Spaceships, Hovercars, Immortality, Cybernetics, and Robots.
I wanna see that Jaws ad from Back to the Future. I wanna replace my arm with a mechanical one. I wanna look at the Earth.  :07:
Lol. I'm gonna use a GS TLA reference here and say: "Your honesty is refreshing, Felix[Ailanthus]."
Unfortunately, I don't see those coming anytime soon, personally =(. Especially immortality... our cells kind of have a way of killing themselves one way or another Dx. Plus, you'd need a ton of money for the tech to do something close to that. D:
..although I do share many of your wishes. T_T
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Offline Lunor

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« Reply #18 on: June 13, 2014, 07:44:24 PM »
Apathy is a problem I faced for a very long time as a part of my depression. I still experience it from time to time, but I throw myself into everything that I do...whether it's something I want to do or don't want to do. This forces me to care. Additionally, until you feel the symptoms of apathy less acutely, try to find what your passions are. I'm not saying find, but try to find. What is it that you like to do? Read? Write? Draw? Program? Play children's card games? That should be your starting point.

What I'm saying may not work for you, but it's what helped - and is still helping - me.

Offline Star Magician

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« Reply #19 on: June 13, 2014, 07:53:33 PM »
most of society's focused advancements are cell phones and other vanity convenience objects that people froth at the mouth over these days. Or weapons.
'Never thought I'd live to see the day when someone says that. :,D *wipes tear
--or maybe people like us just experience complete disinterest excessively. Lol.
I don't know about disinterest. I think the right word is disappointment.

Apathy is a problem I faced for a very long time as a part of my depression. I still experience it from time to time, but I throw myself into everything that I do...whether it's something I want to do or don't want to do. This forces me to care. Additionally, until you feel the symptoms of apathy less acutely, try to find what your passions are. I'm not saying find, but try to find. What is it that you like to do? Read? Write? Draw? Program? Play children's card games? That should be your starting point.

What I'm saying may not work for you, but it's what helped - and is still helping - me.

What would you describe as acute apathy symptoms?

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Offline Lunor

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« Reply #20 on: June 13, 2014, 08:10:09 PM »
I would describe it as not caring about anything and just feeling blah all the dang time.

Offline Merc

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« Reply #21 on: June 14, 2014, 12:39:09 AM »
I don't really know what to put here, because emotions tend to surprise me more than apathy. I'm not completely apathetic to life (don't tell the folks at GSAR), but complete emotional shutdown does happen occasionally to me. I've found that sometimes writing out my thoughts helps me understand better and get out of that state, also sometimes music, though normally listening to music makes me feel worse because I can't enjoy it, which in turn makes me realize the depth of my apathy.

I'll post more later when I am at my laptop and feeling less rambly.

Offline Star Magician

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« Reply #22 on: June 19, 2014, 02:07:08 PM »
I would describe it as not caring about anything and just feeling blah all the dang time.
That's pretty accurate for me. An exception is my family, but in kind of a bad way. They (maybe unintentionally) made me feel like I owed them for my existence sometimes, but I'm getting over it. I've had strong desires to sever all contact with my friends and family before.

I don't really know what to put here, because emotions tend to surprise me more than apathy. I'm not completely apathetic to life (don't tell the folks at GSAR), but complete emotional shutdown does happen occasionally to me. I've found that sometimes writing out my thoughts helps me understand better and get out of that state, also sometimes music, though normally listening to music makes me feel worse because I can't enjoy it, which in turn makes me realize the depth of my apathy.

I'll post more later when I am at my laptop and feeling less rambly.
I don't think I have the attention span to write my thoughts down. Music helps me a lot though because it gets my mind off stressful things.

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Offline Star Magician

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« Reply #23 on: July 26, 2014, 12:14:03 PM »
Well, I've done a bit of thinking lately.

-The only thing I can remember truly looking forward to the past few years were various video games. I don't know how I can start making a career out of it this late in life.
-My situation with real life friends is next-to-nonexistent, so my involvement in communities such as TLW has increased the past two years. That was also not long after I quit Runescape completely and (sort of) severed ties with all of the friends I made on it. Maybe I have a subconscious loneliness that I've been repressing the whole time. I'm much more anonymous than I used to be though.
-Even though I have been offered friendship and invitations to social events from people at work, I've declined every single one.
-While working, I cannot focus on the task at hand for the life of me, even with a customer right in front of me sometimes. I often find myself spacing out or my mind drifts off to random places. I've had to hide my emotions from everyone, which is something I think I'm very good at, but it's becoming difficult, and a coworker of mine finally saw through it. I'm depressed and miserable most of the work day.
-At home, I'm finding it hard to start doing anything, even if it's something just for fun.
-When I visited my aunt/uncle/cousins this week, normally I really look forward to and enjoy my time with them, but I looked forward to going home more once I was there. Seems contradictory to the above.
-Some people suggested that I could be psychopathic. They weren't being serious about it, but after looking it up, it turns out I do have some of the symptoms, such as being antisocial and having a lack of empathy. It could be true, or it could mean nothing.
-I have little or no desire to help other people. This could be a reason why I struggled to find a career path while I was going to college.

I guess I'm just kinda jotting things down at this point because I still don't know what to do about it. Still, if I'm conscious about these things, it may help me overcome some of it later.

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Offline Ailanthus

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« Reply #24 on: July 28, 2014, 04:22:02 AM »
I feel I can relate to most of that.
I think one of my main issues is just low self esteem. I don't think I hide it very well, but I hate admitting it.
I am lonely but I don't really find any enjoyment in talking or being around other people.
I find it a lot easier to express my feelings and thoughts online, or rather it's much harder for me to just hide them.
It's why I liked drinking so much, I think, it helped me open up even to myself. Just after a while it didn't help anymore.

I think being out here on the farm has helped me feel better some, whether it's that my health is slightly improved or just my usual temporary shift, I'm not sure. For now at least, I'm trying to just live a bit better  while I feel up to it.
How sad it is that we give up on people who are just like us. ~ Fred Rogers

Offline Star Magician

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« Reply #25 on: August 12, 2014, 10:39:42 AM »
I'm a bit torn on the self-esteem issue. For example, most of the time, I always think "yeah, I can do this if I put my mind to it" instead of "I'm not capable" when it comes to possible careers. It's the "why bother?" or "it's a waste of time" or "I don't care" kind of thoughts that get in the way more. The only thing I know I'm incapable of is hard, extensive physical labor.
On the other hand, I look at myself as a very undesirable or unattractive person. When people asked me to hang out after work, I would think things like "why me?" Yeah, I know it's kind of a weird way to think, but I can't help it, though maybe it's just my solitariness that's making me feel this way.

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Offline Ailanthus

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« Reply #26 on: August 13, 2014, 05:04:05 AM »
Careers just don't appeal to me, I don't enjoy anything enough to want to have to make a living off of it. Even if I did, wouldn't turning a favorite activity into work take the enjoyment out of it ?

I don't really like going out with people. I don't understand why they even want my company, I don't like doing anything and am pretty boring. I also don't like the fact that everyone I know only wants to do one thing when hanging out. Get drunk. I've told them I stopped, they've known for a long while, yet they still get me to come along. Being the only sober man in a room full of drunks is not only no fun at all, it's also extremely aggravating. So, of course I always end up joining in.

I don't think of myself as unattractive though. Back in High School I used to think all my friends were secretly gay for me. Why else would they even be interested in hanging around me ?
I'm only suspicious of a couple's motives these days, but still pass it off as a quirk in my own mind.
How sad it is that we give up on people who are just like us. ~ Fred Rogers

Offline Star Magician

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« Reply #27 on: January 29, 2015, 02:58:53 PM »
Careers just don't appeal to me, I don't enjoy anything enough to want to have to make a living off of it. Even if I did, wouldn't turning a favorite activity into work take the enjoyment out of it ?
This is what worries me about becoming involved with the gaming industry. If I lost interest in games, I'd have literally nothing left.

I don't really like going out with people. I don't understand why they even want my company, I don't like doing anything and am pretty boring. I also don't like the fact that everyone I know only wants to do one thing when hanging out. Get drunk. I've told them I stopped, they've known for a long while, yet they still get me to come along. Being the only sober man in a room full of drunks is not only no fun at all, it's also extremely aggravating. So, of course I always end up joining in.
Ugh, being around drunk people is just an awful thing. You never know how they're going to react to what you say, so it's best to just be silent.
The only exceptions I can think of are the times I went to the Seahawks games because even though a lot of people are drunk, they're still happy and enjoying themselves, and people are generally friendly to each other there. Or that could just be because I haven't yet been to a game where Seattle lost...

I don't think of myself as unattractive though. Back in High School I used to think all my friends were secretly gay for me. Why else would they even be interested in hanging around me ?
That's really weird lol...

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Offline Ailanthus

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« Reply #28 on: January 30, 2015, 03:52:17 AM »
This is what worries me about becoming involved with the gaming industry. If I lost interest in games, I'd have literally nothing left.
If you think my opinion has any weight, I'd suggest you go for it anyway. Just jump ship if it starts ruining your last outlet.
I say this because, I feel I wasted too much time not working on anything I wanted to do until there any drive to do it was completely gone. I'd say I already don't really have any hobbies left. So, I say it's worth a risk if it might just go away anyway.

Ugh, being around drunk people is just an awful thing. You never know how they're going to react to what you say, so it's best to just be silent.
The only exceptions I can think of are the times I went to the Seahawks games because even though a lot of people are drunk, they're still happy and enjoying themselves, and people are generally friendly to each other there. Or that could just be because I haven't yet been to a game where Seattle lost...
I've only rarely had to deal wit people getting rowdy, it's just very difficult to deal with people that have their thinking increasingly impaired. It's easier if I'm stooping to their level, but I can't help but be annoyed with the drunk way of thinking. Hating going through it myself is another reason I rarely do it anymore. I can get pretty mean on top of being a moron, and I don't like that.

That's really weird lol...
I don't really know what to say about it. I'm less vain nowadays, but still. Some friends just make me wonder.
A more accurate explanation for any social contact I get now though, I think simply comes from pity.

My more optimistic period has crashed. I've not really done anything at all for a while. I can't even load up a game without losing interest almost immediately. I guess I'll still try to work on my countless projects, but that just means what it always does. Staring at a screen, unable to think of anything.

My brother is getting his stuff together. He's improving his health, both diet and exercise. He's getting doctor appointments to help deal with his anxiety and get a surgery he's needed for a long time. My prodding and advice had gotten him started on this. Yet, I can't help but feel a bit resentful. Feeling that old sibling rivalry rising again. He's better than me, just like back in the good old days.
He even quit smoking and drinking.
How sad it is that we give up on people who are just like us. ~ Fred Rogers

Offline Star Magician

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« Reply #29 on: December 02, 2015, 09:58:39 AM »
Dammit, it's another one of those days where I just can't be arsed to do a single thing.
I played a bit of Destiny earlier, cooked some food, but that's it. The rest has just been me sitting around and either dicking around the internet or thinking about doing things. When I go to do something, it feels like such a chore, and I give up before trying.
Even playing a game, which I have plenty to choose from that I haven't started yet. I still can't be arsed. I guess part of it has to do with Xenoblade Chronicles X coming out in 3 days, and I've been anxiously waiting almost 3 years for it, but at the same time, I am utterly pissed at Nintendo and various game outlets regarding this game. I may not buy it at all when it comes out; I don't even have it pre-ordered.
I get really angry at myself for not doing anything, even though I'm convinced that nothing matters anyway. Any personal project or career I could be working on doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

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