Social Anxiety

[Star Magician]

Kind of a touchy subject that  may be different for each individual, but this video by The Amazing Atheist made me want to talk about it.
(Frequent vulgarity in the video if you decide to watch it. Y'all have been warned)


Part of me thinks in a similar way TJ does. "Oh, they probably hate me or will hate me if they get to know me." Part of me also doesn't care because if they all hate me, there's no point in worrying about anything social because it's ultimately pointless. And there's always the usual case with most people I meet where I think "Just stop moving that mouth, I'm not interested. I don't want to talk to you, be your friend, get to know you, etc. so PISS OFF. RAWWWRRR"

Anyone else have any experiences to share?

[Ailanthus]

I think I've largely gotten over my social anxiety. At the same time I am around people an awful lot less then when it was a problem.
I can go grocery shopping on my own and not freak out, I can walk around the mall, and I can actually mingle a bit with strangers now.
I still have a lot of trouble actually saying anything at all to friends of friends or other peoples' family members.

After a while I just realized that they usually either don't even notice me or don't really pay me much mind, and that I didn't really care that much.
Not sure what to do about what's left of it, but it's really not so bad with my current lifestyle.

It was a lot worse back when I was in high school. If I had some friends sticking with me it was fine. The halls between classes and the unlucky assembly where I was alone were terrible all around. Before that I dealt with it by just getting into fights, as if people are afraid of you there isn't anything to be afraid of.
That was a terrible way of going about things though.

[Halcyonic Legend]

I feel this is inevitable for most people. When I was younger I was picked on alot, and as a result I developed alot of what that person talked about in the video.

As high school went on, it got much different, and I started to realize to not give a crap about what people think about you.

Since then, I'm at the point where I really couldn't care less.

But every now and then when I hear people laugh, I think they are laughing at me. Don't know why. Just what's left of what it used to be I suppose.

What's also funny is that when interacting with people I don't know, I often get shaky and very nervous. I got pulled over by a cop once and I got really anxious, and he asked me why I was shaking. lol. I guess if you shake as bad as I did when you get pulled over, you're either on drugs or you're hiding something. I just get anxious. lmao.

[Star Magician]

It was bad for me in middle school, partly because kids are assholes at that age, although I was never really bullied. Yeah, it kinda went away in high school too because my environment pressured me into being social. Damn yuppies... Lol.

These days, it's actually gotten bad again, for reasons I mentioned in the first post.

[Hollesung]

I say I do not understand about it.

[Ailanthus]

The spambot necroed, not me.
Recently, the convenience store I go to regularly was way more crowded then usual.
As mentioned way back, I thought I was largely over my social anxiety.
I was really having a hard time in there though. Even family gatherings kind of give me the same vibe.
I guess it's more some kind of Agoraphobia than regular Social Anxiety. It's like everyone else is breathing up all the air.
So, it get's really hard for me to breath. Then I start getting self conscious about how I'm breathing, and I start sweating.
Then it just keeps ramping up, feeding into itself infinitely, until I get away.

Really, I'm not sure if I ever really got over my own Social Anxiety, or just stopped noticing it.
I have an incredibly hard time trusting anyone. I have a lot of difficulty coming up with nearly anything to say to anyone anymore.
It feels more like I just don't have anything to say, or at least nothing worth saying. But, that doesn't stop me here.
Consequently, I don't really have any friends left since I haven't talked to any of them in a long time, don't really have anything in common with'em anymore, and I can't bring myself to really get to know strangers.

[CHEESE4ALL]

I've always found strangers easier to talk to than family or other people I know well. Because- I think- who cares how someone I won't see again feels about me?  But people I get stuck with for any period of time make me nervous as if I'm being judged.

[Ailanthus]

I feel you there, though talking to strangers makes me real fake. Like an amusement park worker level of friendliness.
Talking to people I've known for a long time is troublesome. When I'm around them I kind of autopilot and act like I did way back.

If I act normally they get all weird on me, like "Why aren't you acting yourself ?" "Are you alright ?"and it makes me really uncomfortable. It's really tiring to act like younger me though, because I have changed. At least, I think I have.

Since I can't seem to just be myself where I am now, I'd really like to just get a fresh start somewhere else.
Though, if I do somehow manage to get out of this town, I think I'll just end up not talking to anyone at all.

[Scorpio]

I have an easier time talking to people now that I've made peace with myself. I still can't talk to pretty girls, though.

[CHEESE4ALL]

I feel you there, though talking to strangers makes me real fake. Like an amusement park worker level of friendliness.
Talking to people I've known for a long time is troublesome. When I'm around them I kind of autopilot and act like I did way back.

If I act normally they get all weird on me, like "Why aren't you acting yourself ?" "Are you alright ?"and it makes me really uncomfortable. It's really tiring to act like younger me though, because I have changed. At least, I think I have.

Since I can't seem to just be myself where I am now, I'd really like to just get a fresh start somewhere else.
Though, if I do somehow manage to get out of this town, I think I'll just end up not talking to anyone at all.

This.  Absolutely this. 

[Ailanthus]

I've been having trouble with some dude lately.
He's discovered that I cannot say no if someone asks me for help.
So, every time I run into him, he's asking me for something.
From "borrowing" money, to bumming cigs.
I can't seem to just avoid him either.
If I didn't already know he's having hard times it'd probably be easier.
It's not killing me or anything yet, but I don't like that I'm so willing to let someone take advantage of me.
I don't know how to be assertive or a jerk.

[Star Magician]

I always tell people "I don't have (insert whatever here)" and they usually believe me or pretend to, whether I'm lying or not. I've never been in your situation cuz I'm too selfish and distrustful to give anything, so all I can suggest is to make up an excuse to not give anything (like saying that you lost your job and can't spare anything or something), or better yet, don't carry the things he asks for on you when you think you're going to see him again.

[Ailanthus]

Well, I haven't had to deal with that guy in quite a while. He had to leave somewhere on account of the money troubles, ah well.
Not carrying the things is what I ended up doing. 
I can't bring myself to just lie about things like that. Not sure if it's just that it's too small to lie about or that I don't lie often enough.
At least it's a problem I don't have to deal with right now.

A bit of a thing to mull over if any feel up to it.
  Have you ever had any friend/s that didn't talk very much ?
 If so, did you find it easier to be talkative, did you feel less pressure/need to talk/whatever ?
And other such stuff in that vein.

I've had two really quiet friends, I ended up pretty attached to both.
Though, I always ended up being the louder one.
A thing, which is kind of why I brought it up is, have you ever been able to just hang out with someone ?
That's my favorite aspect of such quiet friends, no talking*, just chilling.
_{*very minimal talking}

[CHEESE4ALL]

In highschool I had this one friend, named Agnes, for three years.  She didn't really start talking to me until year three O_o tiny bit odd, but I liked hanging out with her and I guess she thought I was loud enough for the both of us.  And our mutual friend was a happy medium. 

[Scorpio]

I'm the type of guy who doesn't share without a reason, and I'm also a jerk, but hey every thorn has its less sharp part. Or... Whatever...